So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
