I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
