So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
