I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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