He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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