I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
