the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
