Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
