Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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