weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
