i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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