We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
