Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
