can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
