i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
