like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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