got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
