Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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