Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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