I never want to see another naked old woman again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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