oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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