I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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