I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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