her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I showed him my bush... on skype.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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