so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
