dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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