everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
