I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
