were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
