I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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