Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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