But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
