If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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