I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
