A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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