If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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