Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
