Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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