In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
high people should be assigned attendants
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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