first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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