I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
