Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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