He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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