I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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