If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
