its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
