I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
