Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
