I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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