my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
