i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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