I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
